Today was not what I wished for.
So lately I’ve been in a terrible mood for no real reason, and I’ve been trying really hard to get everything done accordingly for college and work. Im trying to transfer my job to boston for the fall, along with getting an apartment, finding roommates, working on financial aid, student loans, applying for tuition reimbursement through my job, and working with the director of the psych department at the college Im going to be at on getting my schedule set up so that I can easily transfer to other colleges in the boston area depending on what I decide to do as a career. Now along with all of this, my parents are fighting with each other through myself and my sister and its getting old. On top of that, I feel like the fun goofy part of my relationship with my bf has diminished slightly and its really upsetting to me. I’ve been working really hard to try and get him to stay on top of things with school cause I’ve-been-there-done-that kinda thing and I want to kinda help him get through everything easier, but I know its not really my job and I feel like I’m overstepping my bounds. But regardless of everything, I just feel like I’m working really hard for nothing. Im going to be going to this great school, but everything else has diminished because of my intense focus on it…
Also, today is valentines day. For those of you who don’t know, Im in a LDR with my bf who lives in NJ while I live in CA. Yesterday was our 1 year and 6th month anniversary, which is the third longest relationship I’ve ever been in with someone, and its basically been long distance the whole entire time. Yesterday he sent me a little text wishing me a happy anniversary and today I sent him a happy valentines day text… but something just feels like a disconnect. I miss him so much and we both agreed to hold off on doing something for each other for either of these two days because Im flying out to boston next week. But still… I just feel like I’m putting more effort into recognizing special things.. I still dont even know what day I’m actually going to see him next week or for how long.. It just bothers me that I’ve been torn up about this but when I say something about it, it kinda just gets swept under the rug… I just want a hug and to actually talk. I want to be given the same amount of effort back as I’ve put in…. I didnt even get asked to be anyones Valentine today, and I know that it goes without saying that I’m my bf’s valentine, but still, I would have like to have been asked :/
And it super sucked watching all the cute couples buying each other their favorite drinks today… uhg… I just really want a hug. Please?